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OWN YOUR BRAND SHOW with Victoria Odekomaya
Welcome to the OWN YOUR BRAND SHOW where you'll learn how to own and grow your brand and market your business. Every week I interview entrepreneurs and/or share branding, marketing and business tips to grow your influence, build a profitable business and make an impact.
Victoria Odekomaya is an award winning photographer, brand & marketing strategist with over a decade of experience. She is passionate about helping women fulfill their dreams and purpose effortlessly.
Click to be featured, advertise on the show or connect with Victoria: https://mtr.bio/limstudios
OWN YOUR BRAND SHOW with Victoria Odekomaya
How to Master the Art of Work-Life Balance - Your Blueprint for a Healthy and Happy Life | Epi 54
Imagine trying to maintain a balance between career, family, and personal health, only to find yourself overwhelmed and stressed. Erica Tomasik knows this struggle all too well and joins us to share her journey from chaos to clarity, offering invaluable insights for anyone caught in the whirlwind of modern life. Erica's story reveals the hidden toll stress can take on both emotional and physical health, emphasizing the critical need to listen to our bodies and embrace a holistic approach to healing.
Our engaging conversation uncovers the science behind stress and its alarming effects, such as exacerbating autoimmune diseases and weight challenges. Erica candidly discusses her personal health battles, including autoimmune disorders and stress-induced symptoms, to illustrate how stress can manifest in our bodies. She provides listeners with strategies to identify stressors and shift towards a more balanced and joyful way of living, serving as a guide for those looking to break free from the relentless pressures of everyday demands.
As we explore the path to self-discovery, Erica introduces her transformative programs designed to empower women to pursue the lives they truly desire. Through retreats, coaching sessions, and workshops, she helps women reconnect with their core emotional needs, fostering healthier relationships with their minds and bodies. This episode is a call to action for anyone seeking alignment and purpose, equipping listeners with the tools necessary to create a life brimming with joy and fulfillment. Tune in to uncover how you can transform stress and overwhelm into a journey of personal growth and healing.
Connect with Erica: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ericatomasik_lifestylecoach/
//ABOUT
Victoria Odekomaya is a Nigerian American and former drug research scientist turned brand and marketing expert. Through her Creative Agency, LiMStudios, she specializes in brand photography, video creation, and strategic marketing. Victoria's mission is to empower female entrepreneurs to be SEEN, KNOWN, and HEARD, enhancing their visual presence and attracting their ideal customers to build a BANKABLE PERSONAL BRAND. Victoria's scientific background has honed her analytical thinking, attention to detail, and problem-solving skills, which she integrates into her branding strategies. Her 23-year journey to U.S. citizenship reflects the perseverance female entrepreneurs need to overcome challenges in branding and marketing. This fuels her dedication to empower women to achieve their entrepreneurial dreams.
In 2022, Victoria launched the BOSS LADIES CAMPAIGN, giving participants a celebrity photoshoot experience to enhance their confidence and brand visibility. The campaign promotes these women through features in BOSS LADIES magazine, appearances on Victoria's 'OWN YOUR BRAND SHOW', and recognition at the BOSS LADIES GALA. The gala not only celebrates women but also raises funds for local non-profits, so far raising $19,000+ for Dove Recovery House for Women and PINK RIBBON CONNECTION.
For sponsorship/business inquiries, visit https://mtr.bio/limstudios or email hello@thelimstudios.com.
As women, as business owners. There's so many hats that we're wearing and it's almost like we're juggling something that we can never really get a handle on and eventually that leads to a lot of buildup of anxiety, of stress. Like you know you need help but you're, like you're just confused, maybe even, you know, afraid to seek help as well.
Speaker 2:I feel like women mostly hit their stressors around 30 when they start adding like if they have a, they're getting married, children, businesses, jobs, and so they feel like they need to be all things to all people.
Speaker 2:I hear this phrase a lot and they don't have the luxury which is an interesting word to do xyz. They don't have the luxury to slow down, they don't have the luxury to take care of themselves. So their stressors are that they want to have a business or they want to, you know, work, a really cool job. They also really want to be a mom, or they really also want to serve their community. What?
Speaker 1:are some of the signs to see that. Okay, I'm stressed out. Have you ever felt like you're running on empty, chasing money, success, but you always feel drained? My guest today, erica Tomasik, is here. She knows to struggle all too well, but she's going to be sharing with us how she broke free and transformed our life, so you don't want to miss it Now. Welcome to the Own your Brand Show. I'm your host, victoria Odeko-Meyer, and, without much ado, I would love to welcome my very guest here, erika, thank you so much for coming on. Thank you so much. I'm so excited to be here. Erica, thank you so much for coming on. Thank you so much. I'm so excited to be here. Me too, my goodness, I am so inspired by the work that you're doing. We were talking a little bit before we got started and just how you're doing it and what you're doing. Just tell us a little bit about you, just to start off with.
Speaker 2:Yeah, okay. So I always love to start out with like who I am as a person. So I'm a wife of almost 17 years so exciting. Marriage is hard, wife of three or mom of three kids, three little kids. I am a coach, but what I love to do is I love to help women really work through the overwhelm like being all things to all people pain, anxiety, stress and help them create the life they want, whether that's in their health and other places in their life. I've been passionate about helping women probably since I was a young child. Wow, tell us about that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, my vision has always been I am very good at finding out where people are and helping them get where they want, and this in-between is like my jam. Wow, I'm like so curious about it. I could ask a million questions and I am so passionate. All of my jobs, even as like a teenager, have been where are you here? You want to get here? Cool, let's get you there. And that kind of like that gray area is not scary to me. It's very, very interesting and I think that's where all the power and the growth and people don't do that area very well.
Speaker 1:They just like shut it down and I'm there to be like let's bring it to light and bring healing so that you can thrive how you're created to live. You know, I really appreciate you saying that because, as women, as business owners, there's so many hats that we're wearing and it's almost like we're juggling something that we can never really get a handle on and eventually that leads to a lot of buildup of anxiety, of stress, and you're saying this is your jam, like I got you, let's walk through this. You're saying this is your jam, like I got you, let's walk through this. Because you know, having that conversation sometimes is hard too. You know, like you know you need help, but you're, like you're just confused, maybe even, you know, afraid to seek help, as well, yeah, and, and I can do it.
Speaker 2:Well, I mean, I've, I've been trained but, because it is what I have most struggled with. I'll get to share more of that, I know, but I love when I work with counselors, coaches, people for me who, like they've done the work like they've got the education, they've got the training?
Speaker 2:Yes, but they've done the work and this has been an area that's literally taken a physical toll on my body and I'm not perfect at it, but I continually do the work and so I can have so much empathy to be like I get you, like you're not crazy, I get it, but like also there's a path forward.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so let's go into your story, Because I think this would be really helpful. Tell us a little bit about how you found out about you know, when you were going through those type of things.
Speaker 2:Yeah Well, I won't share so long about this part, but my own health journey began when I was three years old and I was admitted into the hospital. I was actually in the cancer ward. They didn't know what was wrong with me I was dying, they thought. What they now know is I had this autoimmune disease. I can never say the long part of it, but it's called ITP and it's where your white platelet or your platelet count is so low that if you bleed out anymore you'll die. And the autoimmune disease any autoimmune is the body attacking itself, which is very confusing, like why are our bodies doing that? And so it started.
Speaker 2:From that age leading up until college, where my body and in between was okay, my body just started shutting down from the time of 18 to about 28. I had debilitating food allergies and the American medical community like could not figure it out. So I had to go in an alternative route. I had acne all over my body, I was losing weight rapidly, I'd eat food and it would literally go through, like straight through, like right out, like like I had a hole through my body Wow, through into my and I found healing in the process of it. But my body had just had so much stress, like I was living in that nervous system of that fight or flight. I'm now knowing I went into having adrenal fatigue, my body just shutting down.
Speaker 2:I'd be driving I was traveling a lot for my consulting job. My 20s I would literally start to black out while driving. I was there but I couldn't see, and one of our health practitioners he's like you have adrenal fatigue, found healing through that. Then, after having kids, ended up having, a couple years ago, hypothyroidism and Hashimoto's, after having kids ended up having a couple of years ago, hypothyroidism and Hashimoto's All of these, if you look at the root of it is stress and anxiety and overwhelm. My body has just been like I can't take it. We get that. You can go at such high levels, you can do so many things and the world loves people like that, loves it, which is hard because they're like we're going to grab you.
Speaker 2:We're going, and my body was just like we're out, like we're done, we can't do this. And so it's been so much healing over the years and then, through that, seeking counselors, seeking coaches, people who are like, yeah, you need to heal your physical body, but like there's also inside healing that needs to happen, which I'm so glad that I had health practitioners who would honestly like say those things, practitioners who would honestly like say those things. And so doing that work of my whole life has been. Now, how do I slow down and do less? And that kind of scares you? You know, like as a, as, like a doer, you're like, ah, it's like triggering word, but I believe when we slow down, then we do more intentional work that we were created to do, that we're aligned, and so it feels scary at first but it actually aligns you to be like I'm saying no to all these things because I'm saying yes to this, and so that so my body not only my emotions and head, but my body has, like, has shown a toll of this.
Speaker 1:Wow, okay, but you are doing great now. You've gone through the process, yeah, and that experience is giving you firsthand knowledge to be able to help others as well. Totally.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and at each place. It's not like it was built one upon the other. I found healing in each one, both emotionally and physically, but I think it was like there was still next levels of healing and next and maybe I don't know how the body works exactly, but some of it maybe had been done for so long that it was still slowly Cause, like when the adrenal glands shut down. That's when if the adrenal glands don't work, then the thyroid has to kick in and if the thyroid is doing double duty, then that's hard for the thyroid. So I have found healing along each of these ways, but there were still there's always more layers for us of healing.
Speaker 2:But yeah, I would say in the last like 10 years, but really in the last like five, I just feel so good and there will always be things that come. But my, my body. I know now I do so much work in my coaching of understanding and listening to your body, because I wasn't, and each year I get older I do this work, I learn more how to listen and that's brought more healing. To be like this is a signal from your body, like you can't do that or something's not okay. And as women we are not taught. We are taught to like, shame, shun, abuse our bodies but not listen Wow.
Speaker 1:I want to get into that whole listening, because I know that's something that you you teach a lot, you talk about a lot. But before we do that, what are some of the common stressors that you see amongst women in general?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I feel like women mostly hit their stressors around 30 when they start adding like if they have a relationship, like they're getting married, children, businesses, jobs, and so they feel like they need to be all things to all people. I hear this phrase a lot and they don't have the luxury which is an interesting word to do X, y, z. They don't have the luxury to slow down.
Speaker 2:They don't have the luxury which is an interesting word to do X, y, z. They don't have the luxury to slow down, they don't have the luxury to take care of themselves. So their stressors are that they want to have a business or they want to work a really cool job. They also really want to be a mom or they really also want to serve their community. They really want to be married and in a really committed relationship where they're showing up as an awesome person for that person, like a really committed relationship where they're like they're showing up as an awesome person for that person. And and I, I think you know we came from many decades ago of women didn't work and then, kind of like our parents' generation, started to work and then we found out, oh, but as women we're still almost working full-time and we're full-time moms and at home and doing all the things. Like no one can work two full-time jobs. So then, if you're not paying for people to do all these things, you're working two jobs and that, I feel like, is the real stress.
Speaker 2:And this is new. This is new generationally for us. We didn't see many of our moms. We didn't see our moms and grandmas Like my grandma. Well, one of them, you know, didn't have much more. Didn't even have a high school education, hardly so. This is new. We don't have a lot of models for this in our life.
Speaker 1:Yeah. So, speaking of that, like what are some of the signs to see that, okay, I'm stressed out, I mean you've kind of described a little bit of that but like for anyone listening right now, I think, because we don't often talk about it, we don't even recognize it as being a stressful situation. Right, it's like your go-getter you want you got to do this, like I'm, you know. So, like, what are some of those signs that someone should pay attention to and say, like, if you're feeling this kind of way, you know you're probably under stress or anxiety or fear, whatever that is I can go into a scientific thing.
Speaker 2:Let me say a basic one and then I'll share the science of it. Okay, but I mean when you're, when your body is tired and exhausted and you are not getting you, you're maybe getting enough sleep, but you are just like walking around feeling like a zombie. You can't fully live in like. If you feel like I can't be present, I can't fully like be where I am. I'm always onto the next thing. The science of it is okay if I explain like the science.
Speaker 1:Oh, absolutely, oh, I'm a scientist, so you explain away, of course.
Speaker 2:Right, okay, so if your body is living in the sympathetic systems we have this autonomic nervous system, we have a sympathetic and a parasympathetic. If it is living in that fight, flight or freeze or fun, which fun is people pleasing?
Speaker 2:We were created to go there and then we were created to come back to the sympathetic which I like to call the joy state joy, creativity, play, rest. If you aren't in that a lot of your day, then you are stressed. So if you are just like I just have, and listen to your language, if people, every time someone asks you something, listen to how you answer Like, hey, how are you? Your next answer is fascinating. If you are fine, if you are always busy, like those are not words of where, like, we were created to live in this joy state. We were created to see a stressful email and go into stress and come back. We were created to remember someone that died in our life. Go into grief, come back. We all of a sudden realized we forgot to take our kids to an appointment. Go into stress, come back, but we're not coming back. So we're going out here and maybe as children we were out there and we never came back.
Speaker 2:If you are not actively, for the most part, living in that like joy, rest, play, creativity, like, think of like a child who's just like free, yeah, then you are probably really stressed because we were created to live there. We were created to go out and come back and go out and come back, but it's in the coming back that we're not doing Right. And then so, like if you are constantly go, go, go go and you don't have joy in your life, you're probably super stressed because you're living out of alignment. You're living out here which is a tiger is chasing me or something scary is happening, but you never come back and so you live your whole life out here and you're like I just got to keep going, I just got to do this, we just got to keep going. We're always late, like if your body is like that. Yeah, you weren't created to be that way. That's stress.
Speaker 1:You know what it's funny that you describe it so well, because it's almost like that's surreal, that doesn't feel like the norm.
Speaker 2:You know what I mean, like no.
Speaker 1:I'm like how many people actually live like that, Right, you know? But when you're talking about it I can feel, I can see your aura, just feeling, being in that you know, a state of just being present and joyful the way you're doing. I was like, oh wow, she actually lives it.
Speaker 1:I mean not all the time, but at least you understand the process and you pay attention to your body. You know which is something I want us to go into Like, so tell us a little bit about just being intentional and listening to our bodies.
Speaker 2:Yeah, first, I think when we start to say that we're like okay, well, I can listen to my thoughts, right, like I think a lot of things, but it's like sometimes it's confusing or it's just like so much, but we were never taught to listen to our bodies, like, if you think of the messaging, like don't cry, we've got to keep going, it's not important, be quiet. Whatever you learned as a child, you don't matter. That doesn't matter, this matters. So we just push it down, be tough, yeah, be tough.
Speaker 2:I mean, how many times do I see like a child like really fall and hurt themselves, and the parent is like get up, you're fine. I'm like whoa, like they didn't need like a whole hour session or like you don't need to be on the floor with them for hours, but like attuned to their needs. And so because we didn't receive that attunement and we haven't learned to listen to our body, it causes problems. So listening to our body is really starting to sense what's happening. Because our bodies are called bottom-up bodies. 80% of our messaging flows through our nervous system bottom to top. So that means only 20% is going brain to body. That's crazy. So if we're only thinking about and responding to what's up here, we're missing 80. That's crazy. So if we're only thinking about and responding to what's up here, we're missing 80%. That's crazy.
Speaker 2:And we have this vagus nerve that starts here and then it goes here. It connects to all the organs and it should be firing, sending messages, but we haven't been taught to listen and what we have been taught to do is I need a better word for this but like tamp it down. I'm feeling stressed. Eat. I'm feeling something. Open up my phone and start scrolling. I'm feeling something, turn on Netflix, I'm feeling something, and so we just camp it down, tamp it down. Tamp it down.
Speaker 2:Instead of being like, okay, like I just got that email that was really hard for me to read, I am feeling like nervous in my stomach right now, like that's so interesting. What is that? And there's different questions we can ask and feel into it, but in essence, it needs to be addressed. Whether or not we answer the questions or not, it needs to be expressed through the body. What I help my clients do is their emotions are stuck when they express them through the body. That's where healing is. What we think healing is is not having any negative emotions at all. You're like.
Speaker 2:I never get angry, like I'm like totally Zen and you know, whatever. That's not how our science of our body was meant to be. And so when we can sense and just start to like there's even exercises I do in workshops, I teach just like, scanning your body, like what are you feeling? Like we all know that. Like, if you have tension in your shoulders, that's stress, we kind of know that. But like, do we really think more about that? Like when do I feel that and how does it come and what does it mean? And when we start to notice those things, we can listen. Our body's sending us signals and there's a lot of information there and even signals of like.
Speaker 2:If you have a lot of like, I'll share one that someone shared with me that she's like I have all this tension in my shoulders as we walked through and did a series of questioning. It was related to a lot of grief that she had. And I mean, how many of us sense the tension in our shoulders and think of grief and then work through grief? And the grief was stopping her from doing something in her business, totally disconnected, she couldn't figure out why she couldn't do this thing in her business. We get to the tension in our shoulders, we get to the grief and it's amazing what can then move through the body. But we don't do that. So we're like I'm feeling tension in my shoulder or we don't even maybe notice that, like I can't figure out what to do in my business. I'm super stressed. I'll just eat ice cream when I get home.
Speaker 1:Or we don't even you just described me.
Speaker 2:Yes, so many of us. Or you're building your business because so many women watching this are building a business. You're on social media, you're doing the things and then you see someone and you're like look at their business. Their business is so great. You see their post. You're totally derailed. You can't even work on what you're doing and all of a sudden you just go to whatever your numbing activity is and sometimes it's like anger. We're sad that someone else has a bigger business than us and our kids walk in, we start yelling at them.
Speaker 2:Oh my god right like but what if we sat there and we like honestly said, like I'm so sad, my business is not where it is right now, what do I need? What's here, what am I feeling? When our kids come in, we could say to them hey, this is like can I have a moment like I'm really feeling sad right now, like that would be so different, yeah yeah, goodness that so good.
Speaker 1:I just feel like it sounds more like living in the moment and being aware of everything going on around us and within us too. I can tell you that. So I recently turned 40 and I think I'm becoming a little bit more aware of what's going on in my body now, or at least my body's telling me it's speaking louder. Yes, it definitely does. It speaks louder. Like you know, things hurt a little bit and I'm like oh, okay, you know.
Speaker 1:So, um. So this is why it's very fascinating for me, because I think you know, and I tell my kids I'm like now is the time for you to pay attention. You know, they are young, you know, and for some at least, I think of myself, I'm like I'm not. I'm no longer a spring chicken, you know, back in the day, where if anything happened, I just spring up and kick it, that's it. So now I'm beginning to be a little bit more intentional. I'm just being more like maybe helping myself or being kind to myself, and I'm definitely not where I need to be, and I'd love to talk to you about that. I think it's just something that we need to speak more of. You know, educate people more. It's okay to take care of yourself.
Speaker 2:You know, like what is your body telling you? I think we're in this in-between generation. It was like female power you can do anything, and then we're like, wait, we can't do anything. Yes, we're smart, yes, we can have jobs and do really cool things in the world, but we're not, like when people are like super woman, that woman's, I'm like that is very interesting. I have a lot of questions for her, because no one is. And yeah, I like I got to go teach at my daughter's school about this, and for kids, I bring in an emoji chart.
Speaker 1:And.
Speaker 2:I gave them each a chart and I'm like which one of these do you feel often? And they all pointed because they could see the pictures. I'm like where do you feel that in your body? And adults are like what? And kids are like immediately they all start pointing One girl. She's like I feel tingliness in my feet. Another child later was like she's lying. I'm like whatever comes to you first is usually accurate, but kids, they have way less trauma and cultural norms. So yeah, I believe we need to teach our kids this because we need to listen to those patterns, even as women. I heard a woman one time and I was teaching her about these things and she's like I have this feeling every time I'm with a male coworker in the car cause we're in sales together and I was like what is that feeling saying? And she's like it's saying run.
Speaker 1:And I'm like.
Speaker 2:That's so hard when your body is in fight or flight and it wants to run and you can't and I'm like what are you doing about that? She's like you need to address that because your body is going to start doing something with that. It's going to store it, it's going to become a disease, it's going to become stress, because there's something there. We have to trust our bodies Like I don't. I don't believe in like Disney, where it's like let your body be your guide and your intuition. I just believe it's information more.
Speaker 1:Right, so this the emoji thing that you have? Is it something that you do for even adults as well?
Speaker 2:You know I haven't brought the emojis in for adults, but I should. I think.
Speaker 1:so, I think it would be very interesting yeah For us to like describe the way we're feeling and pointing to whatever area that is.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I do the pointing the area For adults, like I did a workshop on Friday and I had this huge list of words of emotions. But yeah, I wonder for some people, even who struggled, even name a lot of people struggled, even they're like I don't feel anything.
Speaker 2:They struggled to name feelings. So, yeah, maybe I should put those out on the table in workshops. But yeah, then we do start to name where we're feeling it in the body, what it's saying, if there's anything for us, and then learning how to we have to get it out. We have to move it through.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so is there a connection between this anxiety, because I know you're a health coach and also a life coach, right, and what is the connection between the health and then basically some of the other things that happen in our life? So I remember when we were talking, before we started recording, and I told you how I'm struggling with my weight, and you know you immediately was like maybe I'm stressed and all the things. But you also mentioned how that could be something even deeper. So just tell us a little bit about how those two things are connected.
Speaker 2:Yeah, when we're in our health, a lot of us think like, okay, like for so many women in their 30s, 40s, and then more weight loss, like they want to lose weight. When I help people in their health, I would say it's 95%. The first thing is weight loss that they're wanting. And when our bodies are gaining weight and it wasn't happening before, well, even if it was happening before, that's something else. But the body takes on stress with, often with weight. Some of us do different things, our bodies do different things, but the body was created. Our bodies are old bodies. Whether or not you believe in evolution or whatever, our bodies have changed and adapted, but they haven't adapted as quick as all the technology in the world has. So what you and I were talking about is when the body interprets stress, it immediately thinks of this is not safe, I need to hold everything I have and maybe even gain more. And so for and especially for women, because we need fat for our bodies to function, to have babies and to feed babies, all that. And so the body's like I know what to do fat and we just start to gain that fat. I've even seen this is a deeper level, but that people will gain weight to create a barrier between them and other people. Emotionally, I mean, that's a whole nother deep thing to go into. But that's usually people who they've been overweight from being a child and maybe their parents did not steward their eating very well. But if they struggle with that, that can be like creating like a bubble of safety or power around them. It sounds so crazy, like who would want to do that. But the body is trying to protect us at all costs. The body's trying to survive and protect and so when we're in stress the body starts to gain weight, even stress of working out.
Speaker 2:So I have clients that come to me. They're like okay, I eat only, like you know, 400 calories a day. This is what I'm doing. I'm working out at the gym like two, three hours doing high intensity workouts. Why am I not losing weight? I'm like your body is so stressed. Those high intensity workouts they can be so stressful for the body that you will probably be building muscle underneath for sure. But then you're building this fat layer around because the body is like this is stressful, you know, the fighter flight's going, the adrenaline, the cortisol, and the body starts to gain weight or hold on to weight. It seems counterintuitive, but every time I see a woman I'm like okay, you need to start walking and lifting gentle weight, go do that because you need to start relieving some of this stress off the body. And it's amazing how women, how that will, that will bring, bring help to them. Um even, do you have time? Can I share one more story?
Speaker 1:about this Absolutely please do.
Speaker 2:I had a client and she I was helping her lose weight About one to two pounds a week is pretty average, losing weight, losing weight, losing weight. And then she was like, oh, she was on a leave of her job. She wasn't working, getting to stay home with her kids. She had a very stressful job. She got the new job. Literally within the first two weeks that she got that job she'd gone 20 pounds down. The weight loss stopped.
Speaker 2:And she's like I don't know what's wrong, your program doesn't work. And inside I'm laughing because I know this. I'm like it's your job, it's so stressful. And this person in the end she didn't believe me, but then I've noticed over the years she changed her job and she shared about how stressful it was. And so that really saddens me, because some of us have job stress, some just environmental stress, some trauma as a child that we're bringing here, some marriage stress. But the body, at all costs, is trying to survive and it will do anything it can. And so knowing what is causing stress and then helping to relieve that in ways we can there's some circumstances we can't change, but that is a huge part of healing and then eating well and doing all those habits that we know are good, but I see so many women banging their head against the wall trying to lose weight and get healthy, when they're just stressing out their bodies more and they're getting like the reverse result. It's giving me a lot to think about.
Speaker 1:So you know what I was thinking about and I know that a couple of women out there, or at least a few, would be thinking I'm a type A woman. I want it all Like I want to be. I love to be a home mom and take care of my home, but I also have a passion for doing my business. You know, and I guess that's definitely me but how do I balance the two with being in tune with myself and being in a state of joy, you know, and not being stressed by the idea of being combining the two? You know, like, because I feel like.
Speaker 1:So we were talking about you and, if it's okay, I want to share about how you have your children in a three-day school school week and you have, you're doing basically two businesses, but you still feel like you're in a Zen place, like I mean just you. You know the way you're speaking to me and talking to me. You don't feel stressed at all and I'm like you know, like this is what most of us are looking for. You know, how am I doing? How are you doing it?
Speaker 2:Like well, you know I'm never perfect. You know we have those moments. You know, I had a moment the other day. I was feeling like such imposter syndrome. Like Erica, this is what you do, you help people do this and you are creating chaos in your home. So I think it's also space to know we're never gonna be perfect, we're never gonna make it, but there's rhythms and there's things that we're working on. And I think for women to really come to asking, I'll talk about like the body and stuff, but first to say like, like what do I really want?
Speaker 1:What do?
Speaker 2:I want here, because there there is a journey and I have this whole talk that I do on this of, like my husband and I we thought if we would just be happy if we had more money, if we have more stuff, because we weren't happy in our relationship. We didn't know that we weren't happy, we just thought we're not happy. So if we just look around, if we just get more success, more money, more stuff and we hit this peak many years ago we had it all. We looked around and we crashed because when you have it all and then, but you're not happy, you have nothing, it's worse. It's worse than like working to it Cause you're like, okay, at least I'm still working.
Speaker 2:Once I get there, I'm going to hit this like Nirvana or whatever. We'll all be happy. So really asking, what do I want? And it's usually a feeling like what do I want? To feel, yes, we have to provide for basic needs, right, you know. And then for us, like a basic need for me is like paying for my kids school so to me that's just like as basic, as like food and everything.
Speaker 2:Right, so we have to pay for those things. But like what are we wanting to feel in our body? What do we want in life? Because, often we're trying to build these businesses, do all these things, you know, like if my kids were just like smarter or better in sports. Since we put them in all these activities, we're like what is what am I living for? What's my purpose?
Speaker 1:What do I want and?
Speaker 2:filtering everything through that, because then a lot of things are going to go and a lot of things won't stay. Like I would love to be traveling and speaking on stages. It's not my season right now, it's not my season to be gone every week out of my home. I had a job where I traveled Monday through Thursday every week before we had kids and that's not my season right now. And so to ask, like, what do I really want? What do I want to create? And then really come back to that baseline. And then, in terms of the listening to our bodies, I mean just basic, to begin that work is to ask, like, what is happening in my body, what's my body saying, what do I need? And to trust that if we slow down, we will get so much more alignment and so many better ideas.
Speaker 2:Like, I listen to way less audio books. I have way less music playing in the car. I still do those things. But having time of still and silence, your brain can begin to flow. But if you're like I got to do this and I got to do this and I got to do this, usually what it is, it's an unmet need, there's something here and that's what I say, coming back to like what did you really need For me? Like I really needed love and connection with me and with my husband. I wasn't getting that, and so it seems so weird because I wasn't getting this over here spend. I wasn't getting that, and so it seems so weird because I wasn't getting this over here. So then I went over here and I'm trying to build this huge business which there's nothing wrong with that but I'm over here and it's not working. So I keep trying to do it more and more.
Speaker 2:And so if we really start to listen and understand, like what am I really wanting here? It's usually deeper. If that can be satiated, then we are less like manic and crazy. Like if we want to be loved because we don't, we literally don't feel loved and love ourselves. We might be people pleasing. So we're saying yes to all these things in business that really are in alignment with who we are, and so we're just like crazy because we're being all things to all people. And if we really pare it back and realize I don't feel loved or worthy, but if I can just get one more person to love me and one more, maybe someday I'll feel it. So I find that getting to that deep core brings so much alignment.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's powerful, it is, and I don't think we ask ourselves that question enough. No, yeah, or just even do the work to figure out what that is. But I know you do that. You help people with that.
Speaker 2:I do help people do that.
Speaker 1:Yes, tell us about how you help people with that I do help people do that?
Speaker 2:Yes, tell us about how you help people with that. Yeah, so I work with women one-on-one and I'm starting to develop some group coaching and I do one-on-one coaching and then I also speak in lead workshops, so it's like, hey, that's more accessible, but I help women work through their. Whatever they come to. It's overwhelmed pain, loneliness, anxiety, but it usually comes from something else my business isn't growing how I want it to grow. My health is not going how I want it to go. I have all my ducks in a row, but how come I can't be present or enjoy it? I'm literally losing my mind.
Speaker 2:And so then we come together and we do coaching, work one-on-one, and we engage the mind and the body. We engage like the full wisdom of the body, and we begin to work. And I always promise my clients you have a goal, like we'll work towards it, but can you also be open that there are going to be some other things along the way, like we'll get you that thing? That thing, honestly, might change though, but we're going to figure out why you're not getting here, you know. So if you're struggling like I had a woman she was, like you know, struggling with something in her business and she had seen me do it well. So she's like if you could just help me do this, and I'm like really curious because it's not a difficult thing. Well, then we pull back and it's so much in here. So now we renegotiated to work longer together because she's like I want to do this work Because this, it just kind of happens.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:If this is done, and so I have a one-on-one coaching program where I do that work.
Speaker 1:So when you said earlier that trying to figure out that middle ground is your gem, I just saw that right now. Did you, yes, the way you described, like you know, going, pulling back and seeing you know, oh my goodness, yeah, so good at this and I'm careful because I'm not a therapist and so as a coach, I need to stay in the present, working towards the future.
Speaker 2:I tell people I sprinkle in the past, but if we are, you know, if we're sitting too much in trauma and someone can't move forward, I have great therapists I love to recommend. But as a coach, I believe we pull from the past, present and future and we work together right and and yeah, and we, we do that work wow yeah, so do you have any um workshops coming up? Yes, I have. I'm like I'd love to do one right now, but no one's ready. It's December, oh yeah.
Speaker 2:The holiday season, I'm like come on, let's do work and I'm like, okay, Erica, don't invite people.
Speaker 1:So it's the beginning of the year, because that's when people are wanting to do open yeah.
Speaker 2:So I have a workshop, february, or a retreat, a women's retreat, february 1st. It's in Noblesville at Titor Organic Farms and Retreat Center. We're keeping it small, it's 35 women and it's in this log cabin, wood-burning fireplace. Everyone's going to be having warm, fuzzy blankets and mugs and warm drinks. We're going to be doing body work, heart work, time alone, journaling, hiking, connection with other women. And we thought this is a great time. It's the cold of winter, it's a quiet time. Let's get reconnected and realigned and who we are, so that we can move forward.
Speaker 2:You know when springtime comes so so I'll have other things, even maybe before that, but that's mine that I am planning right now. Oh, I love that.
Speaker 1:So how can we get more information about this? You said it's just 35 women, so this is very competitive, I know how can we get more information about this?
Speaker 2:You said it's just 35 women, so this is very competitive. How can we get more information? I'm creating the information. Right now, mostly I am rebranding my social media, so I've taken a social media pause, but I have a very active newsletter that I'm very active about bringing people to and advertising things in. So, yeah, so maybe if we could put that in the show notes.
Speaker 1:We'll put that in there.
Speaker 2:I have a link. You can just sign up for it. It's really easy. The other thing that I forgot that I'm going to be doing virtually is I have a long, 10 year journey with alcohol not an alcoholic, but what I believe many women are struggling with is a gray area of kind of like self-medicating, and so it will be two years this year that I have not had any alcohol. And it is a journey because I believe that having one to two glasses of wine a night and for some people it's okay I have no issues with alcohol. But it was one of those things I was using to not feel, Can I tell you, in the last two years my feeling has gone way up because I don't have that thing anymore and I was like it's fine, it's like one or two glasses. So for a lot of people, do dry.
Speaker 2:January I'm going to be doing a six week zoom with eight women and I might have multiple of them, but I'm going to keep it small or we get on. And for those who are sober, curious whether they're like this has been a huge issue for me, or they're like yeah, I'm, you know, I'm just kind of sober curious, maybe it'll help me with my health. But we're going to do this deep mind, body work because it's not about stopping drinking why were you even drinking in the first place? And so that will also be coming through my newsletter, and I'm really excited to partner in a group space with women. It'll be on zoom, so it could be anyone from anywhere. That's great.
Speaker 1:Okay, so amazing conversation, and just thank you for sharing with us today. Like I feel like, look, if you're out there and you need help, whether you're overwhelmed, you're stressed out or you're stuck and you're not sure how to move on, or just even wondering where to start Erica has this amazing program. You've heard us speak about it, both about the Zoom events and also the events, the retreats coming up in February, and I know you also take one-on-one too one-on-one clients too, so I think it's really one of the biggest takeaway for me is, you know, being in tune with your body, and just also what you said when you ask the question what do you really want? That is so critical, and so I want to leave you with that today. Think about that a little bit.
Speaker 1:As the year is wrapping up what do you really want in your life as you're starting 2025? What do you really want and how can what? What are those things? Those things you need to do to get unstuck or get you reduce the stress in your life so that you can be in a state of joy. Um, but until next time, keep owning your brand. Thank you.
